it's official.

I cannot stand people who ask me for my notes.  I'm sorry, but no, you cannot copy them!  =(  I actually spend time, pay attention, and put in honest effort to write up good lecture notes.

This morning, despite being very unwilling to get out of bed, I showed up on time to my 8 am class and stayed awake for the entire hour of lecture, making sure I caught every and all details.  The lectures for this class are difficult, but I took good notes.  After class, an acquiantance of mine in the same class asked, very excitedly, to see them, saying he knew I had good notes.  I immediately felt irked.  First of all, I barely know the guy;  secondly, he had previously obnoxiously asked to look at my other work/notes several times before;  and thirdly, I had little doubt that he had put in much effort to writing any of his own notes.

I just get really bothered by the idea of letting someone who doesn't even try get a free pass to my hard work.  That's not unreasonable, right?  I mean, if he had notes also to compare with/ contribute to mine, I would not mind at all mutually helping each other out with notes.  But here he was completely mooching off me, and I couldn't say no with him right there.  -____-  UGH.


Anyway... I had a rather long day today, but I got to drive around a little bit in my
"new" car [see left]  (it was actually bought 3 years ago for my mom, but she's driven it almost never, so it's practically new and has now recently been designated to me).

My sweet tooth was pretty demanding today, but as much as I wanted to go grab a milk tea / chocolate croissant, I had to buckle down and pound out a paper for tomorrow.  Maybe after class...

a weekend out of place

In only 2 days, I make the 5 hour drive back home to spend Thanksgiving with the family.  But "why wait?", my senioritis-struck self asked.  It feels as though I've started vacation early... this whole past weekend I've spent like a bum.  It was relatively carefree, very reminiscent of the weekends I spent two summers ago here in L.A. - single, wild, fun, hungover.  Strangely, a weekend like this now just didn't seem right.  All it did was remind me of what has changed since then.  And I guess it's a little weird, as it always is, to see the same people in the same settings, yet completely different.

On Friday, it began with Jason's 21st-birthday party.  I got there around 11, but before I even stepped foot into his apartment, I see Tommy (my love-hate little bro from the frat) at the door, on his way out.  While the two of us hardly see each other, we are rather inseparable/endearing when we do, despite our very blatant mutual "hate" and "disgust".  So, naturally, once he caught sight of me, he grabbed me, stuffed me under his arm, and proceeded to drag me off, all while yelling insults surrounding my inability to make time for him.  It turned out he was headed for another party, and he was determined on taking me there.  Long story short (as I was only there for an hour), I downed 3 shots of I-don't-remember-what as an "entrance fee" (-___-), played and won a game of beer pong, and left to return to Jason's by 12 am for his birthday, with a comfortable buzz.

For the rest of the night, I spent most of my time with Vince, David, and Calvin, separately.  To put it very briefly, we never ended up dating, but there had always been a possibility for each of them at some point in time.

Of course, I have W now, and he is a very good boyfriend to me.  It just felt like a flash to that past when those 3 had been options after my last, heartbreaking relationship.  And now, I suppose we're "friends" - it is thankfully not awkward.  Regardless of past emotions, they kept me company in turns throughout the night, and I enjoyed the pleasant chemistry, until the end of the night when we said our warm goodbyes and returned to our very separate lives.  Maybe things will be different yet again the next time I see them...

Ironically, my ex (yes, that last ex) was also there.  But I am proud to say I have since mastered my own heart, gotten it back from him.  The whole night, it was as though he was not even there.  Two summers ago, the mere sight of him would grip my heart and have me dashing for the nearest exit to cry, out of sight.  That night, his appearance still stirred something deep within me, but I have simply nothing more to feel for him, not love, nor respect.  It was a hard journey...

Saturday was spent in bed, with the occasional trip to the bathroom to puke whatever I had drunk the night before (Bacardi 151 included, never drinking that shit again).  All too much like those old morning-afters.  There was a reason there haven't been weekends like the wild ones that summer.  Once I'm out of college, I am pretty sure I will never drink like this again.  Nausea is terrible, and throwing up is one of my most hated things.  After finally emptying my stomach, W and I finished Hell's Kitchen season 6 (I had been rooting for the winner since the start, so I was quite happy with the finale), and also watched this weird and ridiculous but okay movie Hot Fuzz.  Sunday was also very homely - we woke up late, baked cookies, ate leftovers.

All in all, it was a completely unproductive weekend.  But in that regard, I guess nothing's changed  =)

breakfast drives my day...

Look?!  It's a live Pikachu!!  The nerd in me could not resist looking up this picture (searched for a good 5 minutes through IM convos to find the link) after seeing a fat squirrel on campus yesterday in a similar pose.  Yah, I'm a dork  -__-

So, as the days get colder and colder, it's been harder and harder to get up at 7 in the mornings.  All my 8 am morning classes happen to be important, and I've been pretty good about making all of them  =]  But while I used to be able to get out of bed at 7, I now get up at 7:15-20, leaving me only 20 minutes or so to get ready and go catch the shuttle to school.

I got up later than usual this morning, which led me to skip breakfast today.  I try my best to get a decent breakfast in me every morning, otherwise I get quite faint and it's hard to concentrate.  My metabolism has gotten used to kicking in early.  As soon as I got to class, I was starving and that was not good considering I had about 2 hours of consecutive class to sit through.  I managed to get through the first hour, then was defeated by my poor rumbling tummy, and hightailed it back home to grab food before coming back for the afternoon classes.  Sigh, such weak willpower.

But, speaking of willpower, I managed to keep myself from making a tempting stop for boba on my way home earlier this evening.  Gotta keep off the pounds despite getting to wear more layers for winter...

who the hell is shannon davis?

I guess this blogspot will now be the official place for which I unload the many things that my head thinks about. I had a blog over at this website for about 10 years, but recently I lost my domain due to my inactivity :[ I wish they would have let me pick up my old posts and stuffs before doing the cut....

Anyway, today was an eventful day.

• 1050 am - I caught the shuttle, hoping to have shaken off the annoying girl living on my floor, but she made it onto the same bus and I had to walk to class with her
  
  
• 130 pm - got hit on while walking back from said class for 10 minutes by an African American college athlete who drove by but turned around and pulled up to holler because he thought "my legs were nice". He DID drive a really slick new Jaguar though........ (just playin')
  
  
• 5 pm - annoying girl on my floor came over for the bajillionth time, complained as usual about her life, then left when she realized I was uninterested
  
  
• 630 pm - gathered up my courage and called my professor who was offering me a TA position and possible internship
  
  
• 645 pm - got off the phone with professor, feeling discouraged, because it seemed like too much of a time commitment and I am ridiculously bad at time management
  
  
• 650 - 730 pm - finally got convinced through several friends' opinions that I should just take the job and work harder. poop
  
  
• 750 pm - sent confirming email. Now to wait and see if I got it for sure.
  
  
• 820 pm - remembered and decided to step foot on my blogspot page again for the first time in months. so here I am. :]

I found the time this past weekend during my visit home to grab lunch with Mar from my frat. We've been really close friends, so I was one of the few to find out that weekend that his girlfriend, whom I also know, faltered in a moment of weakness and cheated on him with her ex while in Japan. They've broken up since, but I was shocked that it was Mar's idea to lie about the real reason for the breakup. He had just gotten his heart broken by someone he says he loved, but to protect her from criticism by their mutual friends, he decided to keep the hurt to himself. And I thought, there are still kind people in the world. Granted, she may not have deserved it, but he didn't want to hurt her back.

Granted I did not deserve any special honors, my ex didn't seem to be able to spare any thoughts. Long story short, when we broke up due to his problem with one of my white lies, he decided to proclaim our breakup to the world, slander me to our mutual friends as well as my own, and proceeded to date a girl within our friend circle just to see me wither away in pain. So yeah, I thought it quite chivalrous of Mar to do away with the bitterness.

Anyway, this exact same past weekend, that ex of mine texted to ask some stupid questions that his current gf (the same one he got with after breaking up with me) or anyone else of Chinese ethnicity could have answered. This is not the first time he's attempted using some lame way to start talking to me again out of the blue. I don't feel anything for him, as I neither like him nor do I want to be friends with him, and yet he seems to think that, 2 years later, doing this somehow "patches things up between us" and allows us to "keep in touch".

I have been cynical ever since the rough breakup. So it was pleasantly surprising that there are still guys like Mar who act upon sincere, gut feelings rather than upon revenge and image. Love is a weird thing.

Ciao~