i'm back, but my spirit is still out there somewhere

Spring break is over... and today was the first day of classes. So tiring... and I realize I'm another quarter closer to graduating from college. The thought makes me sad :[ And a lot of my older friends - my older brothers from other mothers - are already graduating and leaving in less than 3 months... Their jobs are going to take them to faraway places, and I may not ever see some of them ever again... so depressing. :(

In other news, my short trip to Asia was fun for the most part. I didn't have enough time, but at the same time, it was just enough. It was rainy for the last half of it anyway... and there were some boring family affairs that had to be taken care of as usual, but overall it was a nice trip. But as much as I loved the places I visited, there's just something about it. Like, I don't think I could live there long-term. I met up and had lunch with Andrew in HK, gambled legally for the first time at one of the beautiful casinos in Macau, and got driven around by my mom's friend's son (one of the richest playboys on the island, no joke). It was pretty fun :] If I have the time, pictures will come.

After I got back from the trip, I spent the weekend with W. He was trying very hard to make up for the last time he disappointed me at SD. And I gotta say it worked. He drove me to and showed me around this place that I've always wanted to go, tried dinner with me at this famous place (we ordered way too much food which I stupidly left behind after going through all the trouble of packing it to take home), and finally we went to the beach in the dark. We also got his ears pierced :] He claims he had always wanted to do it, but I know he never really did - he admitted later that it was because I had mentioned offhandedly that I think he'd look good with them. I've decided that while I may not be sure whether or not I want to be with him yet, I definitely like how sincere he is in what he says and how he acts towards me.

My sleeping schedule is still messed up tho... so I gotta take my nap now. Will check in again laterrr

i want a webcam

So I just discovered Skype, because I'm gonna be going out of the country after taking my tests, and I wanted to stay in touch with everyone. I wish I had a freaking web cam... I never really had the need to get one before. W is testing it out with me right now, and so I can see him but he can't see me, and it's fun hahaha. He looks effing good on web cam. =]

With my brother's urging, I preordered one of the new nintendo DSi's yesterday. I hope it's worth it, and I HAVE been wanting it for a long timee.. man, I really feel crazy boyish sometimes. I like playing video games so much. It's definitely because I grew up with a younger brother.

I'm gonna have to cut this update short, cuz I got a lotta studying to get to. But I will leave with this picture...

I WANT A BUNNY LIKE THIS!!! ♥

SD weekend w/ Chris, my roommate, W, and puppies

Finally got the chance to write againnn :)

This past weekend was really nice. It was my first time visiting my friend (and first ex) Chris at his place in SD, and I met a lot of his friends (including his latest girlfriend). He's still the same as ever.... it's been quite a while since the last time he and I actually hung out, but I was so happy that we are still the close friends we are. I always feel high on life whenever I rediscover a friendship. And I realize Chris will probably be a best friend that I hope to never lose.

I don't really feel like writing everything about how W came and spent a day with me this past weekend... but basically, over the weekend, he made it clear to me that he did like me and wanted to know if I felt the same. I told him truthfully that I still didn't know.... but at the end of the day, I was actually almost half convinced I did NOT want him as a boyfriend... I feel like I have certain things I look for in a guy, and W did not exhibit a lot of those things. And when he wouldn't do some things I expected.. his points started going down. Maybe I am too picky? Or too high maintenance? Half the time, he's just the right kind of cutesy - and then the other half of the time, I feel like he's not my type. ahhh??

W said he is going to wait. I feel a little bad just because I am testing the waters with him (hanging out, taking naps, etc), and yet I am capable of suddenly turning 180 and telling him that I think we should just be friends. I don't want to give him the wrong idea and have him think that I am starting something with him when ultimately I am still unsure about him. What should I do? Should I hang out with him less or keep a distance? Although at the same time, I feel it is necessary to "test-drive" him as a boyfriend to see if he fits.... He says he doesn't mind, but I mean, if I want to be friends with him in the case it doesn't work out, shouldn't we be more cautious?

My tests are coming up soon, in just 2 weeks. I haven't started studying yet... and this is gonna be a note to myself to get my ass on it. I want to do well this quarter. I know I can study better, so I'm gonna try to make this happen. I'm starting tonight, with my study buddy (and pseudo older brother) M. W is gonna have to deal with hanging out with me less. And I can't afford to play so much anymore..... TWO WEEKS, Kimmy, cmon. but don't worry I will still blog :D

weekend to come + A-Z

I'm going to SD this weekend! Leaving tonight. The plan is as follows:

• FRI: upon arriving at SD tonight - crash the party my friend Chris (friends of 7 years now, haven't seen him in a while) is hosting
• SAT: breakfast with Chris and his girlfriend, then W is picking me up and taking me out for the day, at night - crash another friend's bday party
• SUN: dunno, but I have to come home this day............ :(
  

As excited as I am, I'm feeling super guilty about going all out this weekend, cuz I DO have a freaking crapload of work to get done and studying that I should be doing instead......

Yes so... (Sorry I'm about to talk about W again right now. Just skip sections about him if you get tired of hearing of him, but things are just moving along and there's always something I feel like writing about him. Heh -__- ) I just thought it was kind of sweet that W is going to come to SD just to hang out on Saturday. He was not originally going to spend his weekend there, but he really wanted to take me out to "explore SD" and spend time together. I had my doubts before, but maybe he likes me =] This weekend will be like a "pseudo-date", I guess? I will update when I returnnnn.


Before I scamper off, I'm gonna do this meme because Mel tagged me :]
RULES: 1. to each letter of the alphabet, write a word connected to you
2. tag 6 people

Asian - I am super non-fobby, but at heart I love all (or most) things azn
Bananas - I can never eat them alone, they must be in cereal or in chocolate
Crazy - is how I get when I get hyper, it's scary
Dancing - I wish I could dance hip-hop...I'm way too uncoordinated (I've tried)
Evil - lol I feel evil when I laugh a certain way... like "heh heh heh"
Future - uncertain. Not good.
Graceless - as before mentioned, I'm pretty klutzy :(
Hersheys! - I like this chocolate.
Inbox - I check my emails and text msgs pretty religiously, I realize
Juice - orange juice is so good
Kimmy - cuz I can't think of any other word at the moment
Lefty - I'm left-handed!
Music - you would not believe how much music I have and listen to
Nice - I hope this is what people think about me
Optimistic
Perfectionist - maybe even a little OCD-ish
Quarters - I tried collecting the new state quarters once, but yeah, gave that up
Racing - I like race car games.
Stuffed animals - I LOVE
Time - I feel like I never have enough... because I always procrastinate
Useless - when it comes to planning things, I fail 90% of the time
Voices - I admire singing voices
Water - I drink a lot of water everyday =)
X - 2 ex's
Yoga - is something I keep saying I'll try.
Zits - i hate them =( I have one right now.

OKAY I'm really running late, so I'm gonna go now. I haven't tagged anyone for this, but if you're reading and wanna do it, do it! I'll read when I come back.

Have a good weekend all~

i wonder if i ever do anything people hate.

I'm online right now with one of my friends who hasn't stopped typing to me for the past 5 minutes, and I haven't even gotten any word in... so I just stopped and I'm letting her finish her fanatic typing first. And I came to thinking about how it irks me sometimes when people only talk and don't listen... I think it's inconsiderate and defeats the purpose of having a conversation with someone. Meh.

I wonder if anyone's ever been irked at me for doing something that I don't know I do?

OH BTW. I put a picture of W on my left hand column. =] We've still been talking a lot, but again, everything's tentative. Two nights ago, my little (from the frat) took me out to late night food at 4 am, and he had me bring W, who was hanging out with me at the time (yeah... W and I were supposed to be working on our labs together). Apparently, the two of them already knew each other from playing basketball... and my little approves of him just because he thinks W plays good ball. hahah. We'll seeeeee.

Everyone should check out Leslie ft. Bobby Valentino - Accorde Moi.

here it is, the lovesick post i dread to write.

Last weekend, I finally met the person that my guy friends always mention and play basketball with. I am going to name him "W". I had heard of him for a long time, but I had never met him, until coincidentally last weekend the guys came to have dinner with me after playing ball. We all ended up hanging out afterwards, playing beer pong/poker/truth-or-dare until 6:30 in the morning.

When W and I first met, we were both just polite and probably just whatevers. But as the night wore on, I came to notice that he was actually my type... athletic, chill, pretty good looking. And I realize there's something attractive to me about a guy who is very oblivious. I mean, in a way where he only pays attention to what's going on in front of him (pays attention to who he's talking to, etc), and doesn't look around him all the time. I wonder if that makes any sense? (Deep down.. I think I may like it because my ex is the opposite and would always look around himself like the shady person he is.) Anyway, I say he is oblivious because I found myself noticing him more towards the latter part of the night and I made the observation.

At the very end of the night, we all stood around the front door of F's apartment, trying to decide how we were all going to share umbrellas,etc to get home in the rain that was pouring outside. W and I were standing across from each other and (as I was already glancing at him from time to time)..... I caught him looking back at me a few times. I wrote it off as a fluke. Eventually, he and I were paired up to walk home together, since we lived in the same area. I was nervous but we got home okay... Ever since we met that night, we've been somehow talking everyday online, and no, I did not initiate! By some small random events, we even ended up getting each others' numbers, etc.

I have my theories/interpretations of some of the things he says, or his vibes... but I think what's the most enticing thing about this whole thing is not just that he's my type. I like that every conversation/interaction we have is very natural. It's the most important thing to me, to be able to get along with him. Now, whether he really is interested or not is another story.... and I don't like disappointing myself (which I already do often -__-) so I am not going to analyze and try to figure out what his signs mean.

I worry about myself... because I can feel that maybe I am going to develop a crush on him. This is a scary thing for me, especially after the breakup with my ex. I got hurt pretty badly last time, so it's not easy knowing that I'm so close to being vulnerable again. And, unless I'm wrong, he is playing his cards very well.... I don't have confidence.

So there it is, a rant of the nature that I have not ever been compelled to write in this past year since my breakup with R. But who knows, maybe this isn't even gonna go anywhere. He'd still make a good friend, probably.

i ♥ my mommy.

So for whatever reason, I just had a random flashback about this one time my whole family and I were playing badminton on our front lawn. (This is going to sound so mean, but my mom is all okay and she laughs at it too.) My mom and my dad are pretty competitive about it because they both used to play it a lot when they were younger. So they would be yelling taunts at each other in Chinese, equivalent to things like "suck on that!" or "yeah that's right biotch!". And then my dad made this one lob that went up and far, and my mom was running over to hit it back, yelling some obnoxious comment about how that was an easy shot.

She was running and running and she was gonna get it....
....But the mailbox on the lawn got in her way.

Pretty much she ran smack into it. But don't worry, she was okay! We laughed at it for days... and just now when I thought about it, I still burst out in fond laughter. Sigh I love my mom.

Note to self: mom also hollered at some French lady in Canada. on accident.

on screening phone calls.

I am going to be honest and say that I do this sometimes. Am I a jerk?

I was thinking about this because I just got off the phone with my roommate, whose phone call I picked up right after ignoring a call from another friend of mine, who I knew was calling around to borrow money. And then I realized... I'd been doing similar shit all day. And for this whole past week, actually. The situations vary, but basically, there were some people I just didn't wanna talk to. Or I was really into doing something else, like watching a movie or something, and I forget that I was going to "call them back later".

In this past week, I screened and picked up only 50% of the calls I got from this one friend of mine I shall call J. She and I are good friends, but sometimes I suspect she idolizes me a little bit. Not that there's much for her to idolize, but she just really "likes" me. She has a habit of exaggerating to other people about how close we are to each other. Anyway, she'll call me all the time (literally) to see if I can hang out or party or talk or whatever. Do I feel bad about not picking up the calls? Yep. So am I a jerk? I dunno? Ehh..........

Oh, but sometimes I do miss calls on accident. This also happened today, and I thought it was kinda funny. So I get crappy reception in the building I'm living in, and unless I'm standing right up by the window, the calls get dropped or the whole conversation is choppy. (sucks, I know -__-) Today, I got back to the room from lunch and I forgot to place the phone by the window for it to get its max bars. Instead, I left it in my pocket, and I sat at my desk (which is pretty far away from the window). I didn't get any calls for a few hours. Then, I walk over to the window to get an orange and all of a sudden I get consecutive little beeps for received text messages and voicemail. Turns out no one was getting through to me... including this guy V who was trying to ask me out for dinner. And that was one call I didn't have to screen. :]

Maybe I am a jerk.

post #1 all over again

I just spent the past few hours working on another layout, getting back into html formatting and picture editing, etc. just to give up and cheat by modifying a premade layout. -__- And even after picking out a template, I spent a long time afterwards customizing it to the way it looks now (you won't see this exact layout anywhere else! - same with my profile here...). Whatcha think? I've found that I MUST have some element in everything I make that gives it my flavor. It's almost like a weird OCD.

Anyway, yeah, I decided to open up a new blog again. It's a new year, and end of my hiatus. I figure this is appropriate. So hello :) And now I must sleep.