i'm not good at this.

I was just offered another internship, this one much more intense, time-consuming, and far away from home.  In truth, this internship may be much better and rewarding than the one I've got now (yes, I've only been at this one for 3 weeks...).

But I'm not good at this.  Frankly I'm really quite scared of how it is going to be like, whether I will do well or just fail.  I feel good that it's an opportunity starting me in the face saying I should take it, but at the same time I get very anxious.  I don't feel very secure about myself, and I am sensitive to change - can't handle it well.  This is probably a good transition...?  For going from schooling full-time to working full-time.  I know it's a good thing.  But I can't help but feel like I'm too afraid to make the change.  I'm just so weak of heart.

what's been up + piece of me (march 2010)

Last weekend, I got a bit of a scare when I got a text from my brother saying that my dad underwent surgery.  It was pretty unsettling because he hadn't mentioned it to me beforehand, and that had me worrying that it was due to an emergency.  It also didn't help that I was unable to reach him on his cell phone all weekend.  But, it turns out that it was just a small, benign case of skin cancer on his hand which he got removed, and I hadn't been able to reach him because he spent that weekend at business meetings.  Definitely glad he was okay, and it was also something of a reminder to think about him more...

Hmm to update on the internship, I performed well at my last shift in the office, flying solo  :D  I got a good ole pat on the back, no joke.  It is too soon to feel like I got the hang of things though, knowing how inconsistent the boss is.  Just hopefully she'll teach me more.

T and I went to Jeff's place Friday night to see him and to celebrate with one of his friends, Max, who had just gotten accepted into grad school here (he's smart).  It turns out that Max knew a lot of people I did!  Including my first ex, a few of my high school classmates, and my roommate.  Such a small world.  I had a good time that night, it felt like we all bonded, and I hadn't laughed that much with people other than my close friends in a long time.  We ended up staying there until about 7, saw the sunrise pretty much.  Mm... I was just thinking again about my future.  Not that I am really in a position to do anything about it, but Max is probably my type of guy.  He was slightly interested but... it wouldn't happen right now....

Okay, getting tired so I'm wrapping this up:
.....This month....
I like:  that spring break is coming.  I'm not really sure yet how I'm gonna spend it, but it will be a very welcome break.
I don't like:  that I don't have my credit card on me (it got stopped b/c it was suspected to have been stolen, when really I had just spent just a tad too much for the month >.<)  I won't be getting the new one for maybe 2 weeks...  not that I want to be using it or anything, just feels a little more reassuring to know I had it if I had to use it.
I want you to know:  I've been watching the new season of The Amazing Race!  Haha, just in case you might want to join in, it's only aired 3 episodes so far.
I've planned:  to spend less, study hard to finish this quarter strong, and to not buckle under stress
I want to say to someone special:  I am very sorry for the hardships that are going on around you right now, and I'm surprised but happy that you want to give your support.  I hope that someday you could openly extend those kinds of feelings towards us too, because it would really encourage the family...