Friday, September 4, 2009

unsupervised, i could waste hours on end

I'm quite the hypocrite. I always insist to the bf to be "more independent, more mature [like me]"... but for the past few days during which he was out of town, I haven't been managing my own time or priorities. Wasted hours cooking food that I wasn't gonna eat yet and catching up on Weeds.

Anyway, just here to get my blogging fix so I can get back to the books.

MG came by today to mooch internet. I can never act naturally around him anymore, not since the time he made a pass at me. Needless to say, since I was the only one at the apartment, it was a little awkward, at least to me. He has a gf now tho (one who gives him nasty hickies, I observed), and apparently they can be heard through the walls...

Anywho, he had trouble with his laptop so he had to borrow mine. While using it, he got dangerously close to discovering this blog -- none of my friends in RL know that I keep this blog. My rationale to keeping it my own is probably obvious: I want to write about everything that happens to me, everything I think, everything I want, as freely as I want. But then I realized too, that this blog wasn't the only thing I wouldn't have wanted other people to see.

I like spending time alone discovering/experiencing things by myself sometimes. I'm a closet-introvert like that. In public, I'm chill and sociable, albeit mysteriously out of reach at times. I say this about myself because I actually have secret interests and hobbies that I pretend I don't know about. (For example, I was really into drawing at one time, but when people at school made fun of people who drew, I wouldn't indulge publicly in the habit...) It's a little cowardly I suppose, but it's something I've been doing for a long time, by instinctual need to be socially accepted or whatever... It's not something I like, I mean, I wish I could just always come clean with everything, but somehow I want to keep a veil between the real me and the outside, potentially-criticizing world.

Sometimes I think it may be the reason I feel like I have limited true friends. But what can I do, old habits die hard...


  1. I have to admit I enjoy alone time and having some interests that are just for me, not to share. My wife doesn't like the "alone time", but she humors me.

    Were you with your BF when MG made the pass? It's nice of you to let him mooch...I might not answer the door! =) You have an interesting blog, I'm glad I found it!

    PS - If I'm having a bad day @ work, a chocolate croissant is my favorite cure--one day it took two to make me smile!!! LOL

  2. Oh no! Today was a "chocolate croissant day", but Vie de France was sold out! Meltdown!

  3. Thanks! MG made the pass pre-BF... and I'm sorry about your chocolate croissant. Which reminds me, I still have got to find my go-to bakery..


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