Friday, February 20, 2009

here it is, the lovesick post i dread to write.

Last weekend, I finally met the person that my guy friends always mention and play basketball with. I am going to name him "W". I had heard of him for a long time, but I had never met him, until coincidentally last weekend the guys came to have dinner with me after playing ball. We all ended up hanging out afterwards, playing beer pong/poker/truth-or-dare until 6:30 in the morning.

When W and I first met, we were both just polite and probably just whatevers. But as the night wore on, I came to notice that he was actually my type... athletic, chill, pretty good looking. And I realize there's something attractive to me about a guy who is very oblivious. I mean, in a way where he only pays attention to what's going on in front of him (pays attention to who he's talking to, etc), and doesn't look around him all the time. I wonder if that makes any sense? (Deep down.. I think I may like it because my ex is the opposite and would always look around himself like the shady person he is.) Anyway, I say he is oblivious because I found myself noticing him more towards the latter part of the night and I made the observation.

At the very end of the night, we all stood around the front door of F's apartment, trying to decide how we were all going to share umbrellas,etc to get home in the rain that was pouring outside. W and I were standing across from each other and (as I was already glancing at him from time to time)..... I caught him looking back at me a few times. I wrote it off as a fluke. Eventually, he and I were paired up to walk home together, since we lived in the same area. I was nervous but we got home okay... Ever since we met that night, we've been somehow talking everyday online, and no, I did not initiate! By some small random events, we even ended up getting each others' numbers, etc.

I have my theories/interpretations of some of the things he says, or his vibes... but I think what's the most enticing thing about this whole thing is not just that he's my type. I like that every conversation/interaction we have is very natural. It's the most important thing to me, to be able to get along with him. Now, whether he really is interested or not is another story.... and I don't like disappointing myself (which I already do often -__-) so I am not going to analyze and try to figure out what his signs mean.

I worry about myself... because I can feel that maybe I am going to develop a crush on him. This is a scary thing for me, especially after the breakup with my ex. I got hurt pretty badly last time, so it's not easy knowing that I'm so close to being vulnerable again. And, unless I'm wrong, he is playing his cards very well.... I don't have confidence.

So there it is, a rant of the nature that I have not ever been compelled to write in this past year since my breakup with R. But who knows, maybe this isn't even gonna go anywhere. He'd still make a good friend, probably.


  1. Give it time and see how it goes :)

  2. I hate and love those kinds of situations at the same time. It's nice to feel that something new is happening, but then if it doesn't I just get angry and frustrated.

    I have this new policy of not thinking so much about guy situations, because I think wayyyy tooo much


it's kimmy



This layout features floweryness :] It is the end of my junior year spring quarter! This layout and header image was completed/edited by myself.
Original image credits: avie

Edited and formatted in Firefox.