a weekend out of place

In only 2 days, I make the 5 hour drive back home to spend Thanksgiving with the family.  But "why wait?", my senioritis-struck self asked.  It feels as though I've started vacation early... this whole past weekend I've spent like a bum.  It was relatively carefree, very reminiscent of the weekends I spent two summers ago here in L.A. - single, wild, fun, hungover.  Strangely, a weekend like this now just didn't seem right.  All it did was remind me of what has changed since then.  And I guess it's a little weird, as it always is, to see the same people in the same settings, yet completely different.

On Friday, it began with Jason's 21st-birthday party.  I got there around 11, but before I even stepped foot into his apartment, I see Tommy (my love-hate little bro from the frat) at the door, on his way out.  While the two of us hardly see each other, we are rather inseparable/endearing when we do, despite our very blatant mutual "hate" and "disgust".  So, naturally, once he caught sight of me, he grabbed me, stuffed me under his arm, and proceeded to drag me off, all while yelling insults surrounding my inability to make time for him.  It turned out he was headed for another party, and he was determined on taking me there.  Long story short (as I was only there for an hour), I downed 3 shots of I-don't-remember-what as an "entrance fee" (-___-), played and won a game of beer pong, and left to return to Jason's by 12 am for his birthday, with a comfortable buzz.

For the rest of the night, I spent most of my time with Vince, David, and Calvin, separately.  To put it very briefly, we never ended up dating, but there had always been a possibility for each of them at some point in time.

Of course, I have W now, and he is a very good boyfriend to me.  It just felt like a flash to that past when those 3 had been options after my last, heartbreaking relationship.  And now, I suppose we're "friends" - it is thankfully not awkward.  Regardless of past emotions, they kept me company in turns throughout the night, and I enjoyed the pleasant chemistry, until the end of the night when we said our warm goodbyes and returned to our very separate lives.  Maybe things will be different yet again the next time I see them...

Ironically, my ex (yes, that last ex) was also there.  But I am proud to say I have since mastered my own heart, gotten it back from him.  The whole night, it was as though he was not even there.  Two summers ago, the mere sight of him would grip my heart and have me dashing for the nearest exit to cry, out of sight.  That night, his appearance still stirred something deep within me, but I have simply nothing more to feel for him, not love, nor respect.  It was a hard journey...

Saturday was spent in bed, with the occasional trip to the bathroom to puke whatever I had drunk the night before (Bacardi 151 included, never drinking that shit again).  All too much like those old morning-afters.  There was a reason there haven't been weekends like the wild ones that summer.  Once I'm out of college, I am pretty sure I will never drink like this again.  Nausea is terrible, and throwing up is one of my most hated things.  After finally emptying my stomach, W and I finished Hell's Kitchen season 6 (I had been rooting for the winner since the start, so I was quite happy with the finale), and also watched this weird and ridiculous but okay movie Hot Fuzz.  Sunday was also very homely - we woke up late, baked cookies, ate leftovers.

All in all, it was a completely unproductive weekend.  But in that regard, I guess nothing's changed  =)