Tuesday, May 25, 2010

i'm too emotional for my own good.

I didn't write a post then, but a week ago, I decided to break up with W.  College graduation is drawing ever nearer (3 more weeks), and it will soon come time for us to physically separate.  I feel I have neither the confidence nor the ability to preserve our relationship on a long-distance basis.  In addition, looking towards the long run, he may not be "the one", at least not the way he is now - he is still very immature in many ways.  So, at the time, I knew what I wanted, and that he was not it, and I did not hesitate to bring it up.  I told him that I am doing this now because I wanted to give us some time, while we were still able to see each other, to get mentally prepared and used to being close friends. Unfortunately, because the breakup was so civil and because we are attempting to keep things friendly, I find things haven't changed much since last week.  We still check in with each other now and then, and pop by each others' places for quick visits (as we are neighbors).  He still attends to my needs, down to the most miniscule of details, and hanging out with him, albeit just briefly each time, still makes me feel blessed, loved, and warm inside.

Do I wonder if I'm making the wrong decision letting him go?  Every day. 

Of all the guys I have dated, W definitely sets the standard for being the most dependable, most sincere, most caring.  I won't ever forget how hard it was for us in the beginning when it all started, and all the troubles we've had, but through it all, he never gave up and did his best for me all the time.  I can only say that I am at fault, for not being able to overlook his "faults", despite how great he is.  We've decided that this is an indefinite break, with high possibility of going at it again in the future after we've settled our paths and found our places in this world, and who knows, maybe he will have matured then.  But for right now, we have other priorities, and I want to give myself some more chances to experience the world around me.

I know what it is I have decided to do.  It's just so hard to stand by my decision when I know so well what kind of a guy I am letting go of.  It's hard to imagine that there will be anyone else out there like him...

5 comments:

  1. aww..but your decision is very reasonable right..? i know its hard but maybe its what's best for the both of you

    (p.s. check out my latest post if you have time,,.thanks :3)

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  2. He's dependable, sincere and immature? That's a rare combination. Dependable and immature don't usually come in the same package!

    All you can do is what you think is best. If there are changes he needs to make, time apart is probably the best way for him to get there.

    About the evil twin, I was wondering about the girl people used to mistake you for back when you were pledging.

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  3. I think that is the most mature and adult break up i've ever heard and I think it's great that at your age you can see it like that.

    I still have trouble seeing things like that. If this is what you need right now, and you two are meant for each other, then maybe you'll work it out later.

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  4. thank you all for your opinions :)

    ReplyDelete

it's kimmy

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06.12.09

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